An Average Conversation with God

Neale Donald Walsch enlightened us with transcripts of his conversation with God. Conversation he held while still on earth. Then came Andy Weir with his version of face to face interaction with the all Mighty, all Powerful Guy( If you haven't read the Andy Weir's version you probably should click here)

But those were special people, I can't be sure but I have a feeling when an average person bite the big one, get his head crushed under a bus or something and reach the pearly gates, his conversation would be quite different....

G--The All powerful Dude.
Me-An Average Guy.

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G:'Hey There! It's You! What's up, my child? Sorry I had to crush your head under a bus and all but.. tell me how much fun did you had down there? Awesome life, huh?'

Me: No. Not really, God.  I was just about  to have a great time when you called me up.

G:What do you mean you were about to? You were freaking forty seven years old; what did you do down there for forty seven years?

Me: Well you know God, Its like this.. From the day that I was born and first opened my eyes, those two people you send me to, already had a plan for me. The bigger one whispered that he wanted me to grow up to be a doctor, and fulfill his dream. The more delicate one said that she just wanted me to be happy--as long as it was good grades, a steady job, a beautiful wife and a couple of kids that made me happy.

I really didn't understand what they were saying so early on, but they did a good job of bribing me with toys and candy in order to make me learn things they thought was important for me. They brought me toys that taught me how to fit square blocks into square holes. They brought me LEGO toys to teach me how to create things. They gave me lollipops if I didn't spoiled the diaper and used the toilet instead, or took them away if I hit my brother.

They read me fables about naughty animal that always eventually got taught a lesson, stories about brothers sticking together to fight armies of enemies and fairy tales where prince and princess always lived happily ever after. When I was 3 they put me in a school. I surely wouldn't have chosen to go there by myself, but it's not a child's prerogative to decide much of anything.

'We carried on this way for a while. Some candy or a rupee pressed onto my palm would stop my crying or make me clean the house. If they say that I had to take swimming lessons in return of half an hour more of television, I would say "Okay". If they said that if I got higher grades, they would take me to the fair, I would say "Okay". Was the dishes in return for halwaa?"Sure".
'By the time I gained consciousness of who I was, I was almost fourteen. From fourteen to Sixteen, I was a slave to the experiments of my own body.

G:"That's Charming".

Me: 'Yeah, so, during that time, I was undergoing "adolescent development"- the mental transition from childhood to adulthood". I started to hear my own voice in my mind and started desiring thing without the promise of candy or make my parents happy. But as I started to venture after these things-friendships with strange characters, longer cricket matches, shorter homework sessions-my father would wag his finger and tell me that if my grades continued to drop I would never amount to anything. My mother did this whole melodrama of crying out loud "I carried him in my womb, I devoted my whole life to him, fed him, made him strong and this is how he repays me? What I have done to deserve this?"
                    'It was hard to believe that this life was meant for me. I was a creation of these two people, who got together and made me, and then owned me. I was burdened with the debt of repayment for the gift of life they had given me. I owed it to them, I was expected to be exactly who they wanted me to be.'

G:' Ah Yes! Expectations. Leave it to you human to twist a simple survival skill into such a useless complication. You were only suppose to ponder over what was around the hill or from which tree the tiger might jump from to come and eat you. You 've turned predictive skills into never climaxing mental cycle.

Me: It's what life is all about these days. That became clear during my adolescence. I was "expected" to act decently. Be well groomed. Well Behaved. Not only expected to go to school everyday, even though all I wanted to do was to play cricket, but expected to excel! "Why should I? Well because that's just what good kids do."
     Till I was 22,I put all my energy into fulfilling their expectations. God forbid my parent's name should get spoiled if I didn't graduate with flying colours. No one cared that I personally didn't give a flying monkey about the things they were teaching me. No one bothered to ask me if I had already identified my best, most promising skills and in what direction my heart was calling me.
     I barely graduated out of college, went to my father and said "papa I want to start my own venture". In Shock he asked "What if it didn't turned went well? What then?" You won't  amount  to anything". So more for his mental peace I joined a job.

G:'Aw that really sucks, my child. You had a dream, and you didn't get to live it. That must be hard.

Me: Oh? wait, though. its get better.
I worked my ass off to complete my projects, understand client's business domain, learn about it, study it and then excel at it. I have to admit that I did pretty well. I got the hang of it quickly. In no time, I established myself as important member of the organization and started making profit for my company. As soon as the bank balance started to rise, my parents said I should get married.
"What the hell you are talking about?" I said, stunned. I've just started earning money and having fun with it. Why would I get married now?"

In the Wild West-UK, Europe, America-parents say, " You're 16 now, get the hell out of my house. And the kids, say "What the hell? Why did you brought me into this world if you are going to kick me out? But then they also go away to college and don't care anymore. But in traditional Indian culture, the pressure is phenomenal. You must get married, you must get married, you must get married. So, one day, to stop the ceaseless discussions at the dinner table, you shout: " GODDAMMIT (Sorry yaar)! Okay Okay, Hell with it!. I'll get married!"

 G:'My darling son. My poor child. Forced to do so many things you didn't want to do , it's all so sad. But, by this point in your life, you're educated, working and married; your parents must be fully happy, and you must have started enjoying yourself, right?

Me:'Ha ! that proves you weren't paying attention! I knew there was no way that you could pay attention to each one of us, all the time...omnipresent, my ass...'

G:Watch it...

Me: 'Sure, Sure. Anyways, before the honeymoon is over-no joke, not even eight months into the marriage-the next expectation made itself clear. Mom said, "Uh, beta, are you both getting along?"
"Of course, Why?" No, Nothing. But...really, you're getting along?" "Yes Ma. Everything is fine".
"then, beta...Why is she not pregnant?" Oh, bloody hell, are you serious?

'So, I say, "Shit, Ma, I don't know! Because I don't think we want a child yet." "No beta, but that's totally wrong. Calculate it-if you have a child at 27, then when you're 40 your child will be thirteen and you'll be strong enough to carry him on your shoulders. If you wait too long, you won't be able to run with him, play with him.." All the logic and experience came flying at me, and I'm like "Duuude Stop."
'But... I gave in, and had a kid.'
It's a pretty typical story from that point. The first three years are totally given over to the kid-providing his basic needs, giving him loads of love and attention, taking care of him when he falls ill, like kids do, often. Then come the development years, where everything you show them and teach them makes a huge impact and you have to give due diligence to everything you say to them and do with them. As they get a bit older, and start to go outside and play with their friends for hours at a time, you finally get a chance to reassess where you are in your life.

  At this point I realized how old I have gotten, so quickly. The hairline receding, the stomach was protruding. I was forty and had not done a lot of things that I meant to do. I picked my pen and made my bucket list: a bicycle trip from Srinagar to Chennai, sail around Greek isles, Throw myself out of plane, etc. My family saw me hunched over the table making my list. I started to talk about doing the things on my list, for real. I started, researching the right all-terrain bicycle, the best cruises available, where the closet airstrip was for skydiving?

'What does my family does? They intervened. Said I was having mid-life crisis. Started whispering to the neighbors about my breakdown. They do that.. They scare the shit out of you. Tell you you're losing it. Tell you that following your heart is stupid. Naïve. "You should be rational. You know better than this. You have responsibilities. Liabilities. People are looking up to you. You have a child, a wife. You have a name in the society. No. No. No. You must not do all these things that your heart wants. YOU. CANNOT. JUMP. OUT. OF. THE. PLANE."

"Fine. Hell with it. I won't. For now." I told myself that I'd do it their way for now, but only little longer. "Once I get to forty five, woo-hoo, better watch out, world. I'm going to do whatever the hell I'll want!. And no one is going to stop me.

G:'Finally! It's about time!"

Me:" Yeah well. Not so fast big guy. As soon as you hit forty five, Life starts to collect its toll. Diabetes, Blood pressure, heart problems, arthritis, nerve attack, some shit or the other hits you. It's even not necessary because of your age, but more because you have not lived your life up until now. You haven't flown. Your juices, your breath, your blood has not flown like it should through your body. You have been under so much stress because for so long you have been someone you are not. I guess after forty five years of pretending to be someone else, you deserve to fall ill. It's only logical. In my opinion, after forty five years of pretending, of suspending your dreams and living on someone's else term you should die.

G: (clears throat)

Me: Ha Ha. Yeah, so. I guess that's why I'm here'

G: Man!! That's hectic. I gave you a sweet simple life to live, and you made a mess of it.

Me: Hectic for sure. But I did my best. Why don't you give it a try, God! see if you can do it better."

G: No Thanks, my Child. I am better off here.

Me: Okay, better yet, could you give me another try? Give me five more years, and I promise you that I will live all fifty years in those five years!

G: No can't do that. But we do have a fantastic bar and Spa up here. You are welcome to finally enjoy yourself. Be yourself, here Or you can keep wandering around, cribbing about the life you led down there. Up to you.

Me: Well.. I guess if it's possible to be dying all the while you are alive, it's possible to be living while you are dead, right?

G: As I said, Up to you............

Will you be friends with me?

I was walking along my wintry, frozen life,
When she popped up like sunshine without much strife.

With a warm smile on her lips,
She stuck out a hand and quipped,

"Will you be friends with me?"

She had eluded me for so long,
How could this possibly be?

I was quite apprehensive,
What could be her incentive?

But as the ice broke and conversations unfolded,
I realized I could grab her trusting hand and hold it.

We had our share of fun and we laughed a lot
Quarrels we got into and battles we fought.

And when she would irritatingly say "grow up",
For a brief while I thought maybe I should.

On the other hand when she'd say "you can do it",
I found strength for amazing things I could.

There were dark times too.

When broken hearts we had to nurse,
Realizing what seemed like a blessing  was worse than a curse.

But we pulled through thanks to the laughs,
It's always fun to poke fun at ex-better halves.

Very often in life people come and play their part,
And before you know it, it's time to grow apart.

I'm not very fond of the future, that subject isn't my favorite,
For now lets treasure the moment, celebrate and savor it.

No matter what lies ahead, How cruel life turns out to be,
At least I have that moment to relive, When she stuck out her hand and quipped,

"Will you be friends with me?"

मन

 मन जब उसका कायल था
हर  अदा पे उसके घायल था
पर उसका दिल वो हार गया
रन छोड़ वहां से भाग गया

 मन यादें बड़ी संजोता है
हर हार पे अपनी रोता है
पर रोज़ तरीके सोच सोच 

खुश भी यूँ ही हो जाता है

मन आज मेरा परेशां खड़ा
पुचा उस से भाई बात बता
बॊला मुझसे,कोई बात नहीं
है सबसे बड़ा मलाल यही

है चंचल मन कहीं टिकता नहीं
रुख हवा के साथ बदलता है
पुचा उसे, उसे क्यूँ ठोर नहीं
बोला अपना कोई और नहीं 

हर  रंग रंगा , बहका ये मन
हर रोज़ क़सीदे पढता है
खुली लम्हों के दहशत से
उत्सव ये रोज़ मनाता है

मन को जाने कौन यहाँ
मन तेरा मेरा मोहताज नहीं
खुशियों में घिरा उदास छिपा
बर्बादी में भी हार नहीं

Something and Anything and Everything

“There is no word that man has created that can even come close to expressing the feeling of love. But sometimes, it’s only words that you have to take her heart away.”

So what do you tell to the girl who is something and anything and everything but does not understand how wonderful she really is?

You tell her she is lovely, beautiful. Cute when she wears a boyish smirk when her eyes rest on your face. She is lovely most of the time and beautiful all the time and especially when she is sleeping. Light breaths at utter peace with the world, no signs of stress in her body.

You tell her she is a good painter. That her elegant strokes speaks for itself and would baffle anyone with an eye. She is a good painter but not the best. Motivate her but do not crush her dreams, else she will never sleep in peace again.

You tell her she is inspiring. That her personality is wonderful and her mind is fantastic. She does not always know the right things to say or do, but that is what makes people look up-to her. That she makes decisions and tries, instead of giving up and moving on.

You tell her she is the little things. The crisp june air, the quick bike rides and the first rainfall gathering on rooftops. Laughing down street hawkers and running and catching up parking slots, Birds singing on wires and falling tears on an open ground. The little things that at last become the best memories.

You tell her beneath the dying sun that she has become your dream. Let the burned flesh and entangled soul on top of a scorched earth became soft September nights of passion and wonder. Enlighten her, make her dream too. Tell her what's on your mind even if she does not want to hear.Always be honest with her, but in the best possible way. She does not want to hear she is beautiful, a good painter , absolutely inspiring and she will probably deny it all. But a small part of her is thankful for the things you have to say. You tell her something and anything and everything, just like her.

If you speak, she will listen and call you “cute”  maybe “jerk and weird” or say you “take things too seriously” or something like that, but pay no mind to it. Smile and watch the fire grow in her eyes as her thoughts become something else entirely and gives back to you a piece of advice that no one could ever possibly can.

But remain silent, and something and anything and everything will slowly become nothing.

स्वयं की तलाश

जीवन एक युद्घ,प्रतिदिन-प्रतिपल मैं लड़ रहा हूँ।
पथ में आती हार को कर के दरकिनार
बस जीतने का प्रयास कर रहा हूँ
जीत की आशा में,हार की निराशा में,
कठिण प्रयास में,दुःख में,उल्लास में,
जब खुद को ढूंढ़ना चाहता हूँ मैं,
स्वयं को स्वयं से दूर ही पाता हूँ मैं।

जीवन की इस भाग दौड़ में,
एक दूजे से आगे बढ़ने की होड़ में,
ऐसा लगता है कहीं कुछ छूट गया है,
मेरा मन जैसे मुझसे रूठ गया है।
इस आपाधापी से जब भी कुछ क्षण
अपने लिये चुराता हूँ मैं,
स्वयं को स्वयं से दूर ही पाता हूँ मैं।

खुद को जानने की कोशिश में,
मैंने बस इतना जाना है,
जीवन का एक गूढ़ रहस्य,
शायद मैंने पहचाना है।
हार-जीत निरर्थक,यहाँ
जीत का प्रयास ही जीत का अहसास है।
ज़िंदगी है ऐसा सफ़र जिसमें,रास्ते बड़े मंज़िलों से
स्वयं को पाना महत्वपूर्ण नहीं,
महत्वपूर्ण स्वयं की तलाश है ।।

Coffee

(Inspiration - Mary Schmidt/Baz Luhrmann )

Ladies and gentleman
If I could offer one tip for the future, coffee would it be.The long term benefits and scientific proof you don’t worry about, just drink . Whereas  the rest of my message for you has no basis more reliable than my own non-existent experience…I will dispense this advice now

Don't make  resolutions and promises, chances are you will never achieve and fulfill  those. It only gonna make you unhappy and worried. The whole world is a stage, why not ad libbed the whole part. Plan for the worst day but don't spoil the excitement of uncertainty.

Jog. (Or walk briskly, or cycle, or do yoga.)

Don't overburden yourself with problems at work . The presentation and excel spreadsheet are not the solutions to your life problems. The troubles in your life will always involve people and people are unpredictable and some are crazy sons of bitches.

Spend a little time every day doing nothing.


Don't expect organization to be as committed to you as you are to them. They don't work in that way. If you find one that is as committed,never leave.Invest in a good suit,pair of shoes and get a shave.Thanks to society's shallowness,the return will be considerable.

Record all the feedback you ever get in your career. Especially the inaccurate, pointless, biased and vague bits that drove you nuts. This will help you when you eventually give feedback to somebody yourself.

Keep a copy of all your old resumes. When you are struck by bouts of existential crisis, flip through them in chronological order. Do the same with resignation letters.

Jump.

Don't judge people by what they speak,Don’t leave nasty comments in other people’s walls and blogs. Similarly don’t expect people to like every thing you say on social websites. Sometimes you are liked many times, sometimes nobody will even read your status update…the race is long and in the end, the status update is only a way of talking to yourself. Don't judge yourself by that.

Swim.

Be kind to your computer. You will miss it when it crashes and lose all your pictures when you have to format your hard-disk. Get plenty of hard disk space for your computer.

Maybe you drink,maybe you don't. May be you booze may be you won't .May be you will engage in one unethical,unlawful activity, Whatever you do, don't laugh at a person doing something different than you. You are lying to you parents so is everybody else.

Dance but keep it classy

Understand that people come and go, but there are a precious few you must always annoy. Work hard to find out that girl’s phone number, because the more you delay, the more the possibility of her boyfriend dropping her off  right before your eyes.

Listen

Let people give you advice. Develop the art of looking interested even if you are not.Pay attention to advice of people who have stake in your happiness and not a stake in your success.

Not a lot of people are “meant” to do something. They just say that to sell bad books.You will find various amounts of meaning and satisfaction in various things. Choose your compromises wisely.

Be nice to people for the heck of it.

Don’t expect the TV to show good programs all the time. Put it on mute when advertisements are on.

Be careful whose blog you read, but, appreciate those who blog. Blogging is a form of yoga, where you do abnormal things just to keep you normal.

Hope is great,but we need caffeine.

 Forget all these,trust me on coffee.

Can we End It

We all read about the shameful act of woman abuse in the state of Assam, we all condemned it, we all hate it and our heart goes to the girl as we stand bow headed, furious but helpless. Are we really so helpless after all? Did we brought this fate upon ourself? Can nothing be done to prevent this? To make sure no other girl has to suffer. I guess We can. I falls down to us and we need to accept the responsibility not because tomorrow it could be our sister, not because the society needs it but because it is right.

You do one thing. First you grow up. Because, if you grow up means, automatically your son will grow up. And when your son is growing up,  give him a lot of free advice. Don’t think that he won’t take it. Give it anyway, he will eventually take it.

Tell your son to go out with the girls. Tell him to give them hugs and high-fives and ask them to go out on day trips and have fun and ask him to use that condom you just gave him. Tell him that the Health and Glow shop anyway has lots of varieties of them near the cash counter itself and that he need not be embarrassed to go buy them if he has to. No one will notice.

Tell him that he can talk about sex in your presence. And that you will not feel embarrassed about it.

Tell your son that it is ok to watch pornography. Don’t ask him to watch it when you are around and all, that will be indecent, but still tell him that there is nothing wrong in watching two adults in action.

Tell your son to read erotic fiction and have some fun. In fact, if possible, you only give a copy of the Kamasutra to him. He won’t understand any of it anyway, but still give it to him. Or try Harold Robbins.

Ask him to log on to Chatrooms and have sex chat with a random girl on the other end. It could be a guy pretending to be a girl, but still that and all doesn’t matter. Ask him to have it nevertheless.

Ask him to do sexting with this girlfriend, but tell him to do it discreetly. Tell him it is ok to have phone sex with her and that even if you overhear something from his room, tell him that you will pretend you have not heard anything. Promise him you won’t embarrass him.

Tell him to fall in love with a woman . Tell him to go head-over-heels about her. Tell him to admire her beauty. Actually, tell him to admire the beauty of all women. Tell him that they are single most source of joy on the planet and that without them the world is nothing. 

Tell him to relax and enjoy.

But before you do ANY of the above,

 Tell him that it is a shame to touch a woman without her permission. Tell him that it is a failure on your part and on the way you have brought him up. Tell him that it is a failure to his manhood.

Tell him that real life pornography requires her permission. Tell him that if a woman agrees, no amount of erotica can match a woman’s passion. But ask him to wait for the woman to agree first.

Tell him that a woman is a human being. Just like him. Not a piece of object. Tell him that while it is ok to admire her beauty, touching her without her permission is worse than stealing food from rabies-ridden street dog. 

Tell him that even broken hearts can be mended but he cannot break a woman’s dignity at any cost.

Tell him that raping is a Sin for which Man will have to pay a heavy price. A very heavy price.